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Oscar Wildefan

Just done the most horrible roof space crawl ever. Ancient stone cottage joined to an identical one with a valley between the two and a 3rd tacked on the end at 90 degrees. Only one loft trap. So, I'm into the trap, no room to stand, under a 2 foot cross beam, then a left turn, under two more, into the 2nd part that doesn't have its own access, then left again into the one I need to be in, parallel to the one I entered, again without its own access. Someone prior to me, had cut the roofing felt out between rafters - 18" apart to gain access to the forbidden chamber for Sky TV cables. 18" of newly laid insulation, brown black and white co-ax everywhere, overflow pipes from the headers and then a further 3 cross beams at 2 feet high. All the while I'm towing 2 lengths of 15mm barrier to connect to the 2 chrome pipes that I'd already fitted into the power shower directly below and sticking up through the plasterboard and lengths of pipe insulation taped together. Yes, copper tube well de-chromed, nice copper showing through. Also trailing battery site lamp and LED torch just in case of failure of one of the other. Speedfit elbows in pocket. Mask sweaty. Should have taken leak. Make connections. Sometimes, that socket depth don't seem so deep. Mobile goes off. Back out, try backwards through the hole between rafters, get jammed and retrace journey on front like commando. Mask uncomfortable. Replacing insulation that I'd tipped out of way to see joists on way in on way out. Get cramp behind right knee. Lay there while it goes. Wonder if push of Cold header and hot cylinder will be enough to arrive at shower with enough flow. It was after I'd popped the filter cover. Covered in insulation and cobwebs. Look like WW2 refugee. Customer wants to negotiate price on completion. Customer now "comfortable" and allowed home this weekend after removal of old electric shower casing from Tradesmans. Power shower nice, no issues.
 
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Lovely dude, i think most of us have had a nightmare like that...i had one with 4" of pigeon shyte everywhere :(
 
Sounds nice! I've had a few horror attic stories that might beat them though I can see it as you describe it.

i was in an access hatch in a shop once to change a main stopcock, it was crawling in a space even I couldn't fit in and it went on roughly 4m and it was a good inch off the ground of rat ****. Then.........next to the mains stopcock was lying a dead rat

should have charged 3 times what I did, horrible experience
 
I've got a similar one to start Tuesday, down the side of a dorma, running H+C, F+R in whats basically a rockwool filled toblerone tube, not looking forward to it. And to make matters worse I've only got on good working hand, other still got 21 stitches in it
 
Did you have the great escape tune going through your head while crawling?
 
if the owner of the house worked in a office, you would love to take him/her with you just to hold the light eh. They would soon know what proper graft was.
 
Claustrophobia is not something to develop in little spaces like that
 
Thank you, your account is epic and an absolutely brilliant account of what we all have
to do. And for you the best bit - You did it - lesser mortals would walk (crawl) away.

Centralheatking
 
if the owner of the house worked in a office, you would love to take him/her with you just to hold the light eh. They would soon know what proper graft was.

Hey - offices can have their dangers as well. I got a nasty paper cut from a risk-assessment form once... :)
 
I actually panicked in one roof space, inched along on my belly to get to the top of the f&e tank, managed to replace the float valve, then panicked as I realised I had to do the same thing backwards to get out.
 
This post kind off 'struck a cord' with me,landed in West Australia in 2006 started working for the contractor who sponsored me.One of the first jobs we did was to replace leaking gas pipe in Collie high school ,a small industrial town inland from Bunbury,.So being the new 'pom' on the company,i was sent crawling through the roof space of a 1950's high school, pooing my self as all the classrooms were full of school kids so didn't fancy falling through,so eager to please my new boss teeth gritted in I went.Kept seeing massive spiders webs,so I kind of mentally ingnored it as my life was streesfull enough without the thought of spiders .When I got home that night I found a massive bruise on my ankle and I had a funny headache,on closer inspection there were 2 fang marks on the bruise 2 inches apart,must have been a huntsman size spider that bit me,never felt a thing.
 
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Ray tripped over his wallet recently - blues and twos to local hospital - then they had to clear the helipad while he got picked up CHK
Hey - offices can have their dangers as well. I got a nasty paper cut from a risk-assessment form once... :)
 
He had it connected to an RCD hence he tripped out lol
 
Sounds harsh, could not do that I'm carrying a bit of extra timber at the moment
 
I hate plastic, but that is one example of plastic making the job so much easier. Imagine how much worse it would have been if you had to repeatedly make your way in & out to measure, bend & solder copper pipework? I had to do similar job, though probably not as bad & it still is etched on my mind how much work to fit all copper To 3 showers & by myself. Just didn't want the risk of plastic fittings & the house was all copper, but with plastic all I would have needed was a roll of pipe, bag of fittings & inserts, pipe snips & pipe insulation & one go at it & out finished.

Always amuses me when an office worker gets home early & spotless & saying he has had a hard day!
 
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How i long for the days when the only thing in an attic was dust.
Glass wool should be banned (it must be a health hazard)
All the save the planets who insist it is put in 2ft deep everywhere should be made to spend 4hrs sliding on their back under a floor 3 brick high with that shyte rubbing on their face all the way.
 
How i long for the days when the only thing in an attic was dust.
Glass wool should be banned (it must be a health hazard)
All the save the planets who insist it is put in 2ft deep everywhere should be made to spend 4hrs sliding on their back under a floor 3 brick high with that shyte rubbing on their face all the way.

Amen:)
 
I hate old lofts! All that filth and cobwebs and spiders the size of mexico licking its lips and giving you the glad eye. Never any boards or lighting, and the existing plumbing is absolutely positively gaurenteed to be In the most awkward inaccessible place possible
 
This is how a loft should be
yme5ura7.jpg


eqategu2.jpg
 
You just saying that. We know u fitted LPG in roof space above open SVP and house has a cellar. Is it stolen? U fiddling the gas?
 
This post kind off 'struck a cord' with me,landed in West Australia in 2006 started working for the contractor who sponsored me.One of the first jobs we did was to replace leaking gas pipe in Collie high school ,a small industrial town inland from Bunbury,.So being the new 'pom' on the company,i was sent crawling through the roof space of a 1950's high school, pooing my self as all the classrooms were full of school kids so didn't fancy falling through,so eager to please my new boss teeth gritted in I went.Kept seeing massive spiders webs,so I kind of mentally ingnored it as my life was streesfull enough without the thought of spiders .When I got home that night I found a massive bruise on my ankle and I had a funny headache,on closer inspection there were 2 fang marks on the bruise 2 inches apart,must have been a huntsman size spider that bit me,never felt a thing.

sorry croppie didn't think I was ''proper'' swearing
 
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